I finally reached a point in my life, where I've realised who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. :)
And I am happy again. Been a long long time since my heart actually smiled. :) 8 long months of feeling insignificant. The worst eight months of my life taught me the magic lesson :
I used to cut myself in these months. I indulged myself in the activities I swore I'd never even think about. doped. I smoked. I cried limitlessly and I didn't sleep the whole night. I had less than 12 hours sleep in 7 days. I was a clear mess. I'd be in the room still be absent from there. I ran away from every opportunity to narrate my problems to my friends. I quit talking to most of them. I played the past memories in my head over and over again, blaming my own self for every bad thing happening in his life. I cared too much. He didn't. I was forced to fake a smile everyday of my life.Kept repeating: My heart couldn't possibly have been broken..cause it wasn't even whole to start with. Everyone was always sympathising..asking what was wrong? I just didn't know..my heart just hurt. Your's would too probably if you had been ditched by the same person about 6 times. That was a pretty stoopid thing to do..but I really believed I could work it out.
I said : I love him
T O T A L L Y W R O N G B E L I E F S .
This is actually depressing me again, talking about this stuff :(
Anyway, after 8 months..came someone who made me realise that life didn't end here. He spent just some hours with me. And I was already flying. Thanks ♥
That person left the next day, but he was the silver lining of my stormy clouds. :)
I feel like I can't handle so much happiness.. I'm out of habit.
I used to cut myself in these months. I indulged myself in the activities I swore I'd never even think about. doped. I smoked. I cried limitlessly and I didn't sleep the whole night. I had less than 12 hours sleep in 7 days. I was a clear mess. I'd be in the room still be absent from there. I ran away from every opportunity to narrate my problems to my friends. I quit talking to most of them. I played the past memories in my head over and over again, blaming my own self for every bad thing happening in his life. I cared too much. He didn't. I was forced to fake a smile everyday of my life.Kept repeating: My heart couldn't possibly have been broken..cause it wasn't even whole to start with. Everyone was always sympathising..asking what was wrong? I just didn't know..my heart just hurt. Your's would too probably if you had been ditched by the same person about 6 times. That was a pretty stoopid thing to do..but I really believed I could work it out.
I said : I love him
T O T A L L Y W R O N G B E L I E F S .
This is actually depressing me again, talking about this stuff :(
Anyway, after 8 months..came someone who made me realise that life didn't end here. He spent just some hours with me. And I was already flying. Thanks ♥
That person left the next day, but he was the silver lining of my stormy clouds. :)
I feel like I can't handle so much happiness.. I'm out of habit.
-♥-
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